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Inspirational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Anthony Jeselnik Quotes
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Sure, my uncle killed himself playing Russian Roulette. But I choose to ...
One of my favorite things on the show was just getting to ...
Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin.
I try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know ...
I don't think people shouldn't try to be edgy, but you have ...
Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy.
I have a rare form of body dysmorphia in which I absolutely ...
Tom Cruise's pre-nup lets him keep his money, the kids and Katie ...
I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's ...
I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird ...
Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just ...
I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about ...
When I was seven, I broke my leg playing soccer. Just to ...
Watching soccer just makes me wish I was watching Foosball.
I think a theater show is a pure version of me doing ...
I can't talk politics with my cousin because he's such a hypocrite. ...
I'm not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I ...
I never go see live comedy shows because I just sit in ...
Ellen Barkin, your upcoming TV show 'The New Normal' premiers on September 11...
My ultimate goal is to do whatever I want, whenever I want ...
Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade ...
Comedy Central made me delete the Boston Marathon joke. I wasn't happy ...
My mom's been having a hard time lately. She just found out ...
We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which ...
About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek ...
I don't ever want to have kids of my own. But I ...
My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my ...
Mike Tyson, what can I say about you that has' already been ...
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the ...
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, ...
I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good ...
In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke ...
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