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Inspirational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Bill Engvall Quotes
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I swear to you, I am the cheapest drunk on the planet. ...
Lady, I didn't get up this morning wanting to be a jackass......
I was always the Class Clown and over time became very good ...
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full ...
I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was ...
You know your getting older when you lay in bed til 10am ...
He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, ...
Remember: Greed is a bad color on a person.
You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, ...
I shot me a nice deer, and I hung it on the ...
I thought RV stood for Recreational Vehicle. No! It stands for Ruins ...
If you thought Stairway to Heaven was a long song, dear god ...
A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.
Lady, I didn't get up this morning wanting to be a jackass... ...
I was born in Galveston, Texas in 1957 in the middle of a ...
I believe that anyone who wants to wear a thong should have ...
To all companies please stop using Xmas songs and inserting your own ...
As we're staggering out of the hospital, I don't remember doing this ...
I'd love to be a woman for one day of my life... ...
There's a group in California that wants to make suicide a capital ...
I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that ...
So the hotel tells us that it is not safe to go ...
Just when I think the human race has been lost to the ...
That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are ...
I think my wife puts up with me 'cause I try. I ...
In 1903 the Wright brothers invented airplanes, because in 1902 they took a road ...
(mimicking a fish's gills wither side of his neck) Hey... (cracks) You ...
I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that ...
Did you ever notice all the items on a honey do list ...
Ladies, you wake up tomorrow and the newspaper reads Scientists have discovered ...
I arrived home the other day, and it was just pouring rain ...
I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of ...
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