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Inspirational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Jim Gaffigan Quotes
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I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was ...
If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know ...
I would make sweet love to Don Rickles.
It's like in most parts of America, where there was industry and ...
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy ...
?Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are ...
Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign ...
Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums ...
Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if ...
I reached a point in my life where I didn't really like ...
You're on stage and because stand-up comedy is one of the few ...
Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take ...
Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?
How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we ...
I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes ...
I'd been acting and doing stand-up in New York about eight years, ...
Isn't it strange - when you're single, all you see is couples, ...
Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're ...
For me, it's always a little sad getting out of bed. Every ...
I was able to make the jump to theaters without having a ...
The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd ...
The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that ...
I used to have to do readings in church, and it was ...
Playing frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to chasing ...
Pie ca' compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a ...
I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane ...
My new years resolution? I will be less laz...
I kind of consider myself... I mean, I try to have my ...
People get burned out in big families, you can even see it ...
Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent ...
People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have ...
Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a ...
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