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Inspirational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Phyllis Diller Quotes
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Phyllis Diller Quotes
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I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, ...
The last thing I'd learn, well into my career, was how to ...
I don't know how you feel about old age... but in my ...
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - ...
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally ...
Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most ...
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Before you get married you should meet your fiance's parents. It is ...
Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once ...
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them ...
When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from ...
Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of ...
My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back ...
This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to ...
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a ...
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency ...
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer ...
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty ...
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like ...
I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?...
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A ...
When you hire a person to plan your wedding, this does not ...
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of ...
A friend told me the longer you keep Romano cheese, the better ...
Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the ...
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot ...
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like ...
A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at ...
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, ...
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